While handling the domestic violence incident that led to the breaking down of my marriage and collapse of my life, instead of checking my body to verify my claims of being assaulted, the Canadian Police opted to give me relationship advice: “relationships between middle eastern men and western women do not work”. Not a letter short, not a letter extra.
I am not judging the statistical correctness of this statement, as I wouldn’t know, but where the Canadian Police placed themselves in social dynamics and how they had classified me in their minds by only looking at the place of my birth: a natural-born wife-beating middle eastern Muslim. Needless to say, their treatment of the incident was exactly through that lens of racial discrimination.
I know that my words alone won’t mean enough to prove my claims against the Canadian Police. However, I am both saddened and encouraged by the fact that I’ve met several others who had very similar encounters with the Canadian Police and I am certain that a brief investigation in to the matter would reveal many other cases similar to mine in nature. And that should at least be enough to prove that there is enough smoke to look into the matter in more depth for the benefit of the Canadian Public. Investigating racial discrimination claims is what the international law the Canadian Government vowed to abide by dictates, anyway.
The racist and the sexist discrimination I’ve been subjected to by the Canadian Justice System cannot be attributed to a single individual or incident alone. The best way I can describe what I experienced is with the term “compound discrimination”. Akin to compound interest adding interest to the previously accumulated interest, the compound discrimination grows at each exposure by adding on top of the previously accumulated discrimination. This is exactly what led an empowered, unchecked, out-of-line judge to making a final order during an uncontested trial – a trial to which my request to take part in was denied by the Canadian Government – to take my parental rights away and not just to violate the international law but also to abandon basic human values.
I have consulted to several lawyers at the beginning of my attempts to reunite with my daughter in order to make sure that I was following the right track and every single one of them found the final order made by Judge Paisley going too far. In a particular case, after reading the final order that was made by Judge Paisley, one of them reacted by slapping his forehead in frustration and out loud saying “This … should be taken off duty at this point. He is not being smart, not being smart at all.”.
Was this lawyer simply trying to get my business by showing false empathy and hoping that I would fall for that? Possible. But that wasn’t the impression I got from his tense eye line, clenched jaw and the tight fist he made with his hand. I think it was the opposite, I believe he was holding back and trying to act professional to not give the image of a hot-headed lawyer to his potential client. There is at least an equal possibility that this lawyer was being genuine and right about his assessment.
Given the reaction of a lawyer who is very experienced in the Canadian Justice System, how precious children are and how fragile human life is, the Canadian Government owe to the Canadian Public an investigation and reassessment of this Judge’s fitness for duty. Anyone who holds this much power must be kept to very high standards and under constant strict checks.
At the very beginning, the fact that the racist Canadian Police had labeled me as the aggressor encouraged the courts to punish me and my 3 months old daughter with cruelty of alienation. At the age of 3 months old, my daughter was forced to live under the conditions of a women’s shelter for 3 months by her own mentally ill mother (assessed by a doctor of pschology) and the Canadian Government. Deprived from her father’s love, attention and care, with no reason.
The alienation efforts of the Canadian Government did not stop there. At the first appearance at the Supreme Court of BC, I was again punished with seeing my own daughter for only 6 hours a week. That is 24 hours a month and 312 hours a year. That, to be exact, adds up to 13 days a year.
13 days a year is clearly not sufficient to develop a meaningful relationship with anyone, let alone with a newborn who should be spending as much time as possible with both her parents to develop into a healthy adult. The motive behind this order is clear as daylight: to separate and alienate my daughter from me, the natural-born wife-beating middle eastern man.
I challenge the Canadian Government to back this decision with a single scientific or medical fact that 6 hours a week with a parent is in the best interest of a newborn. Because, all the psychiatrists and psychologists I have spoken to, in Turkey, in the Netherlands and in Canada, advocate that this is a sure way to scar a child’s psychology for a lifetime. What is this 6 hours a week decision based on?! Science?! Medicine?! Psychology?! Or, how racist and sexist a judge is feeling that particular day?
At a later court session, one of the judges tried to decrease this time to 4 hours a week, however after my firm push back, he backed down from this decision. That is about 8 and a half days a year.
The rate of discrimination accelerated over time and at each step the Canadian Government increased the dose of discrimination and abuse. During the last session I attended at the Supreme Court of BC, after his continuous dismissal of everything I put forward regarding the abuse me and my daughter was being subjected to, I asked the judge what I could do to protect myself against the abuse coming from the Applicant. He responded yelling at me as loud as he could; “You suck it up!”. Not a letter short, not a letter extra.
I am sure this was recorded by the clerk present at the courtroom.
By looking at the reaction of the judge and the tone of this particular writing, one might think I must have done something to anger him. However, the fact is that, back then I still had the illusion that the legal system of Canada was something at least to be respected even though I could not rely upon it, and I was acting accordingly.
The judge was hostile from the very beginning, from the very first opening sentence of mine. His attitude reached a point where I could not even speak. When I pointed this out by saying that “you are making it impossible to defend myself”, the judge was startled. He literally jumped in his seat and changed his posture.
The same judge refused my request for taking care of my daughter instead of sending her to a daycare while I was unemployed to avoid unnecessary costs.
Later on, the same judge ordered me to pay all the remaining funds in my bank account to my ex, even though, because of the unemployment the Canadian Government unrightfully forced on me, I had no income for almost one year at that point.
This was my breaking point, this was the order that forced me to leave the country and leave my 2 and a half years old baby behind. Being already gone through a period of homelessness and starvation, this order meant that I had to leave Canada because I could not afford neither food nor shelter for myself and my daughter. This also meant that I had to go back to my home country, Turkey, where even if I could find a well-paying job, I could not pay any meaningful child support simply due to the value, or rather the lack thereof, the Turkish currency. When I explained the situation to the judge, his response was that me leaving the country would be better for my child than me fooling around.
“Fooling around” was the exact phrase the judge used to describe my unemployment, despite the fact that I had explained to him that I was not allowed to work in Canada due to the Canadian Immigration Office’s unrightful rejection of my permanent residency request and I was trying to fight to win back my right to work.
The same judge added that he does not believe my claim of Canadian Government not allowing me to work to provide for my family. A Supreme Court judge hiding behind the excuse of not knowing the simplest immigration law of his own country, a law publicly accessible via a Google search, to punish someone to abandon his infant child, or a government whose immigration policies are so inhumane that even their own Supreme Court judges cannot believe them to be true. I am having a difficult time deciding which one is more frightening.
The liberty this judge and the ones after him took in punishing a man to abandon his child, a man who is – even in the worst-case scenario, even if every single lie his wife has been telling was true – someone who pushed his violent wife away by holding her from her neck without harming her, a man who is – even in the worst-case scenario – a once in a lifetime offender, in a country where even murderers are allowed to see their children, cannot be explained with anything else but compound discrimination, with the empowerment provided by being a member of a pack whose members’ hands are dirty, hence will have to watch your and their own backs against the others.